I hate the cold!! I hate to be cold! It is cold and wet here. The high today was 51°. (Yes, I know it is going to get colder!!) I have no heat in my apartment! Thank God! I have a small space heater, I was able to get my living room up to 70° this afternoon, last night it was 62° in the apartment and 41° outside. Thank you, my friend, Mary Kay, for the electric mattress liner and flannel sheets. It has made sleeping possible. I plan to plead on Monday, for the heat to be turned on, The good thing about this weather, is the beginning of fall colors. 

I am reminded daily that I am on foreign territory! The mental health issues here affect so many things. Children who threaten suicide have to be taken seriously, and even in fifth grade, this is an issue. It breaks my heart and I spent time this week in tears and on my knees. The manner in which these threats are handled is so difficult, children are led away in handcuffs by police because the closest social service is far away, and police do the transport. It was so difficult!!! To see more about the issues of suicide on the reservation go to www.AdornedCampaign.com This is an ongoing campaign done here on the Pine Ridge. It is headed by Amanda Hadden, from Camp Chunku Waste.

Bullying is such an issue here. I spend time daily with my students discussing what bullying is. They are so physical with each other. They play rough! It may seem fun-but when you are the kid at the bottom being pounded on, it is no longer fun! Teasing is a part of the culture up here. It is a fine line, between teasing and hurting feelings. Fifth graders can be cruel, and I now have a list of words not allowed to be used at school including stupid, fat, dummy, and my least favorite R word retarded. Nicknames are used a lot here and they also seem cruel to me, names like fat boy or old man. When I call kiddos on this, they always roll their eyes, sigh heavily, and say, “I was just teasing!” I remind them words hurt!

I am knitting, like a mad woman, it helps me to center myself and feel like I am being productive. There are days I feel like what I am doing here is good, and other days I struggle with why I am here at all.  I still strongly believe this is what I am supposed to be doing with my sabbatical; it’s just not easy! Between yoga, daily devotions and prayer, and my sewing; I am staying sane. The photo is the hats I have completed.

I will be getting a chance to head home for a few days in October. I have not been home since August. I am looking forward to seeing my girls, soaking in a hot tub and exchanging all my summer clothes for something warm, seeing family and friends, and sleeping in my own bed. As I was making my list of what I want to bring back it occurred to me that other than a grocery list; I have not made a daily list of what needs to be done since my first week here. For those of you who know me, I am the queen of lists and this simple action caused me to realize just how much slower and different my life is here.

Last Sunday, we did a giveaway of all the clothing, boots, shoes, and blankets Jeff delivered from the Lutheran Church of the Master. In just over 3 hours the tables were empty. The tables were mounded well above my head when we started. The ladies that were helping were impressed with the quality of the clothing and coats. Thank you again my church friends for your support! We are still in need of boy’s jeans or warm-up pants, size 10-20. I have children wearing shorts to school because they have outgrown all their long pants. Children’s shoes and boots are also needed.

This Sunday, I spent the afternoon at a sew-in for dance costumes for the dance group. Someone had donated 8 Elan sewing machines, none of them worked, and all needed bobbins. My friend Kitty will be here soon. She and I are going to try to tackle them. They have probably not been cleaned in 10 years and I hope we can get a few of the machines sewing. I don’t understand why anyone would donate something in that condition and not include basics like bobbins and a manual. I will be sewing a few of the dresses that were cut out, this week with moms and young girls on my machine. 

From my experience today, I learned there are 3 types of dresses and based on your dress you dance differently. There is traditional, fancy, and jingle. I will be going through my stash of fancy fabrics at home in October; to bring up some shiny materials, ribbons, and beads to make appliques for the fancy dresses Each dress takes about 3-5 yards of fabric. Anyone having fabrics they want to donate let me know,  I would be happy to deliver them. They like bright colors and patterns. Usually poly cotton and of course anything with glitz. They also need poly-cotton threads. If you have Dual Duty thread you have been wondering what you will do with it, I’d love to take it off your hands. Sewing machines in working order also are needed. I know Jeff will be happy to see some items going out of my studio space instead of just additions being made.

I close tonight moving into a new week. We have homecoming and state MAPS testing this week. Keep us in your prayers. I promise photos of our float next week and I pray I can keep 26 live wires on the float. Thank you to those of you who have donated candy. The kids are most excited about throwing candy off the float. I have no idea, what our float will end up looking like, they are in charge of the design. Signs will be made this week complete with maroon paint and gold glitter! They figured in Math class they are the future class of 2025. They made me promise I would be here to see them graduate!